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A Short Stage Play
by
Anthony Clark Vines
© 1999
See Library of Congress: 422983821-112963 CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that THE RED BUTTON is subject to a royalty. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, and of all countries covered by the International Copyright Union (including the Dominion of Canada and the rest of the British Commonwealth), and of all countries covered by the Pan-American Copyright Convention and the Universal Copyright Convention, and of all countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations. All rights, including professional, amateur, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, video or sound taping, all other forms of mechanical or electronic reproduction, such as information storage and retrieval systems and photocopying, and the rights of translation into foreign languages, are strictly reserved. Particular emphasis is laid upon the question of readings, permission for which must be secured from the author in writing. All inquiries concerning rights should be addressed to: No performance of the play may be given without obtaining in advance the written permission of the author and paying the requisite fee. SPECIAL NOTE All groups receiving permission to produce THE RED BUTTON are required to give credit to the author as sole and exclusive author of the play in all programs distributed in connection with performances of the play and in all instances in which the title of the play appears for purposes of advertising, publicizing or otherwise exploiting the play and/or a production thereof; the name of the author must appear on a separate line, in which no other name appears, immediately beneath the title and in size of type equal to half the size of the largest letter used for the title of the play and no smaller than 10 point type. The Red Button By Anthony Clark Vines
CharactersLIEUTENANT: A junior officer with an obsession. CAPTAIN: A senior officer with a hidden obsession. NOTE: Both men have thick German sounding accents. Setting: A ship of unknown description with a singular but prominent red button.
LIEUTENANT Man, am I tired.
CAPTAIN Hmm.
LIEUTENANT Long trip.
CAPTAIN Um-hmm.
LIEUTENANT But we’re almost there.
CAPTAIN Um-hmm.
LIEUTENANT How much longer?
CAPTAIN Hmm?
LIEUTENANT How much longer till we get there?
CAPTAIN A few more minutes I should think.
LIEUTENANT Good. (Pause) Can’t wait to hit the ground.
CAPTAIN Umm. (Long pause)
LIEUTENANT Check out that skyline. Amazing, isn’t it?
CAPTAIN Um-hmm.
LIEUTENANT Yah sir-re. Amazing. Still, I bet they haven’t seen anything like this baby.
CAPTAIN Nope.
LIEUTENANT What a sight we must be.
CAPTAIN Yah.
LIEUTENANT Yah-sir-re. Good for the state. Good image. Strong message.
CAPTAIN Um-hmm. (Long pause)
LIEUTENANT Any regrets?
CAPTAIN Nien.
LIEUTENANT Me neither: Always happy to serve the cause. Yah-sir-re. (Long Pause)
LIEUTENANT So. We’ve been on this journey for sometime now and there is just one thing I’ve got to…
CAPTAIN Don’t.
LIEUTENANT Don’t what?
CAPTAIN Don’t ask about it.
LIEUTENANT OOOH. KAAY. (Long Pause)
LIEUTENANT I’m sorry but I just got to.
CAPTAIN It’s about the button, isn’t it?
LIEUTENANT No, no, no….well, yes.
CAPTAIN I can’t tell you about it.
LIEUTENANT Why not?
CAPTAIN It’s against orders.
LIEUTENANT Orders? What orders?
CAPTAIN Orders I can’t tell you about.
LIEUTENANT How can you not tell me about the orders? You just did.
CAPTAIN No I didn’t.
LIEUTENANT Yah, you did. You said we had orders; therefore you just broke the rule about telling me that you had orders not to tell me the orders.
CAPTAIN Damn. (Long Pause)
LIEUTENANT So what are the orders?
CAPTAIN I can’t tell you.
LIEUTENANT You just did.
CAPTAIN I told you we had orders.
LIEUTENANT Yah.
CAPTAIN I didn’t tell you what they were.
LIEUTENANT It doesn’t matter now. You told me we had orders that you were not to tell me about. Therefore you screwed up. Just tell me the rest of the orders.
CAPTAIN Fine, fine, fine. The first order is not to reveal the orders.
LIEUTENANT Hah! It’s too late. Next.
CAPTAIN Don’t push the red button. (Long Pause)
LIEUTENANT That’s it? Don’t reveal the orders. Don’t push the button.
CAPTAIN Yah.
LIEUTENANT That’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard.
CAPTAIN Yah, well…
LIEUTENANT Yah, well nothing! Look, did you just forget part or something. I mean they have to say why don’t they?
CAPTAIN No. I didn’t and no. They don’t. Now just let it go.
LIEUTENANT Okay, fine.
CAPTAIN Fine.
LIEUTENANT Fine.
CAPTAIN Fine. (Long Pause)
LIEUTENANT I can’t let it go.
CAPTAIN Look those are the orders. I am in enough trouble without having to watch you all the time. The orders simply say don’t reveal the orders and not to push the button. I broke the first one but I damn sure am not going to break the second. No sit still and try not to think about it. We’ll be in the city in just a moment and we can go get a drink and not think about it, okay?
LIEUTENANT Sure…whatever. (Pauses, then looks at the captain suspiciously) You know!
CAPTAIN Oh god.
LIEUTENANT You know and you won’t tell me.
CAPTAIN No.
LIEUTENANT So you do know!
CAPTAIN No. I mean no I have know idea what it does.
LIEUTENANT You mean to tell me all this time you just set there and it didn’t bother you?
CAPTAIN No.
LIEUTENANT A big, shiny, red, plunger of unknown purpose and it has no affect on you what so ever?
CAPTAIN No.
LIEUTENANT Even thought you were told not to touch it?
CAPTAIN No. (Long Pause)
LIEUTENANT You’re not human. You know that don’t you? (Pause) Not even a little?
CAPTAINYah! Yah! Yah! Okay. It bothers me. It drives me frigging insane! Is that what you want to hear? I dream about. I think about. I have sexual fantasies about it, pushing in and out, over and over and over. I lust for it. Is that what you are driving at?
LIEUTENANT No.
CAPTAIN Good. Then shut up. (Long Pause)
LIEUTENANT Sorry.
CAPTAIN It’s okay. (Long Pause)
LIEUTENANT But you have thought about?
CAPTAIN Okay. Yah. I am human. I have thought about it.
LIEUTENANT Any ideas? Theories?
CAPTAIN I think high command put it there.
LIEUTENANT Sure. Okay. Why?
CAPTAIN To test us.
LIEUTENANT A test?
CAPTAIN Um-hmm.
LIEUTENANT What kind of test?
CAPTAIN To see if we would push the button.
LIEUTENANT Ah, I get it, to see if we would crack. Is that it?
CAPTAIN That’s my theory.
LIEUTENANT Good. That’s good. I like that. I mean I like that you figured it out.
CAPTAIN Thank you.
LIEUTENANT You’re welcome. Man, wow. Just like that, you figured it out. You’re a genius. (Pause) Um-hmm. Yah-sir-re: A right out genius. (Pause) Still, how can we be sure unless one of us pushes the button?
CAPTAIN No one is going to push the button.
LIEUTENANT Come on, its the only way.
CAPTAIN No, we could wait and see.
LIEUTENANT Wait and see what? After this mission, I’m out. So are you. We will never know what the button was for. Can you live with that? It has become so much a part of us, of our last journey, our last mission. How can you just let it go?
CAPTAIN We’ve only just started talking about it in the last five minutes.
LIEUTENANT Yah, but we’ve been avoiding it for a while now. It has caused a rift between us, between our relationship.
CAPTAIN What relationship? You’re my lieutenant: I am the Captain. You’re my junior officer.
LIEUTENANT Yes, and that fine relationship is set on old established standards that you are now tramping upon with soiled feet. I am not sure I want to talk to you anymore if you are willing to throw everything away because of the button. I will of course speak to you on an official level, as is my duty: But otherwise, we are through.
CAPTAIN Oh good lord. (Pause) Look, I am sorry we can’t push the button but we would both be in trouble. Don’t you see? (Pause) If you push the button, they will know that I told you not to push the button, if I push the button then I will be in trouble. (Pause) Look, I just don’t want you to get into trouble. You’re too fine a young man to let a big, shiny, distracting, shinning, plungable, bright, big, pushable…
LIEUTENANT Captain! Get hold of yourself.
CAPTAIN What?
LIEUTENANT You were about to push the button.
CAPTAIN No.
LIEUTENANT Yah.
CAPTAIN Really?
LIEUTENANT Oh yah.
CAPTAIN Thank you for stopping me.
LIEUTENANT You’re welcome.
CAPTAIN Oh, my, I would have been in trouble then.
LIEUTENANT Maybe both of us, huh?
CAPTAIN Yah. Maybe. (Pause) Whew! (Pause) Lost myself for a moment.
LIEUTENANT Hmm. (Long Pause) CAPTAIN Maybe we should push it. What could happen?
LIEUTENANT Oh, no. You’re right. We should just leave it alone.
CAPTAIN Sure, sure. (Pause) Are you sure? I mean you were kind of adamant about it earlier.
LIEUTENANT No, it’s okay. You convinced me. Lets just leave it. (Long Pause)
CAPTAIN I can’t stand it. We’ve got to find out what it does.
LIEUTENANT You’re right, let’s do it. One, two…
CAPTAIN Whoa, whoa, whoa, there. What are you doing?
LIEUTENANT I’m going to push the button.
CAPTAIN No you’re not.
LIEUTENANT But you just said…
CAPTAIN I know what I said and I intend to push the button.
LIEUTENANT You?
CAPTAIN Yah. Me. I am the Captain. I am responsible for all actions taken aboard this vessel. Therefore, I am going to push the button.
LIEUTENANT That’s not fair.
CAPTAIN How so?
LIEUTENANT You weren’t even interested in the button until I mentioned it.
CAPTAIN I was always interested in the button. I just couldn’t mention it.
LIEUTENANT Couldn’t or wouldn’t?
CAPTAIN Couldn’t.
LIEUTENANT Why?
CAPTAIN Because that was the first order: There were really three orders. Don’t mention the Button: Don’t reveal the orders: Don’t push the button.
LIEUTENANT You lying dog.
CAPTAIN I did what I had to do.
LIEUTENANT You’re making that up.
CAPTAIN No.
LIEUTENANT This relationship really is through. How could I ever trust someone who would lie to his best friend?
CAPTAIN Best friend? What are you talking about?
LIEUTENANT I admired you. You were a tower of strength: A moral man to look up too. I loved you. Oh, not in some lustful way. But as a fellow man but now, oh, it’s too much to bear…
CAPTAIN Good lord, I never realized. I’m so sorry.
LIEUTENANT It’s all right.
CAPTAIN No. No it isn’t. You’re right. You are my best friend. I would trust everything too you: My very life to you. You are the best junior officer in the whole fleet: No: In the whole world. And I want you to push the button.
LIEUTENANT Really? You mean it. I am your best friend? Truly?
CAPTAIN Yah. And I love you too.
LIEUTENANT Oh thank you, thank you. You don’t know what that means to me.
CAPTAIN It’s all right. Now, the button; are you ready?
LIEUTENANT Almost. But now I have to go to the restroom. You will wait for me want you?
CAPTAIN (Sighs) Of course.
LIEUTENANT Are you sure?
CAPTAIN Of course, you’re my best friend. Wouldn’t do anything without you, now, would I?
LIEUTENANT Good. I be right back…pal.
CAPTAIN I’ll be right here, pal.
The younger man exits. Older man looks around, then at the button. Toys with the idea in his mind and then hits the plunger spontaneously. Lights go out. Spotlight on a lone man at the edge of room in 1930's suit imitating tapped broadcast of the Hindenburg explosion. He turns to the audience and starts in with:
On May 7, 1937 in New York the Hindenburg exploded, killing 68 of the 91 people on board.
To this day, it is a mystery as to why. This is just one of many possible explanations. You are advised to consider all evidence before passing judgment.
Thank you, and goodnight.
Copyright, 1999, by Anthony Clark Vines as a published dramatic composition FinisA Short Film Script ENDINGS By A. C. Vines Camera focuses in on lone figure that proceeds to talk to the camera as if he were in direct contact with his audience. So there was this man who got up one day and decided that something was wrong. At first, he could not put his finger on the problem. It was just this annoying feeling that all was not as it should be; that perhaps he was not all he should be. In other words, he didn’t feel quite like a man. He set out to correct the situation: to eliminate that awful feeling that kept him from his rightful place in the world. He decided to take action; to prove that he was a man; to himself; to the world; to God himself if necessary. And to do so, he would follow that time-honored tradition that separated the children from the men and man from beast. He would go hunting and bath his soul in blood; prove he was superior to nature. He would take a life to improve his own. So he went to his cabinet, chose the weapon of real men (imitates the cocking of a gun), set it upon his shoulder and strove into the wood. “Soon,” he thought, “soon I will be a man again.” And so it was. As the man set out, it so happened that two birds, a mated pair, were headed south for the winter. They flew straight overhead (uses hands to imitate action of birds in flight), as happy as nature gave them sense to be, side by side. As they passed over the man, he recognized his opportunity. He raised his weapon and…(again, imitation) BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! (Imitation) His manhood was in action. Of course, he hit his target and one of the pair fell (Imitation), fluttering to the harsh world below, striking its cold, hard surface (I.). At once, its mate followed, not understanding fully what had taken place. It landed some ten feet beyond its mate (pointing), instinctively eyeing the situation and waiting, wondering. The man made his way to where the bird had fallen. He was overjoyed and excited. He was, after all, a man again. He walked upon the now dead bird and looked it over. He had struck it well and there wasn’t much left of its insides. He couldn’t eat that he thought. He never liked the taste of game fowl anyway. And there wasn’t really any point in taking it to a taxidermist. Stuffed animals were barbaric. He noticed the mate and briefly considered shooting it too, but, well, what would be the point. The whole action would have been redundant. After all, he had done what he set out to do in the first place. He was a man. So he turned and walked away, whistling merrily. The remaining mate waited some time before cautiously approaching. It struggled to understand what had happened. It understood death, truly, but the whole episode made no sense to the bird. When it finally did approach, it nuzzled its mate in futility. Then it began to wait. For what, it had no idea, for that is the nature of the beast. But wait it did. And wait. And wait. And wait. One week later, two corpses lie where one had previously. Of course, the man went on to live a wonderful, happy life: Full of the struggles and joys that make it worth living. In the end, he died happily at an advanced age, loved by all who knew him. And at his funeral, those present said that above all, he was the very example of manhood: End of story. Man turns to walk away, then stops, turns back to the camera and dips his sunglasses. You don’t like my story: The ending perhaps? (Pauses) Then change it. Man returns his sunglasses, turns and walks away as camera distances itself.
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